In
his Small Catechism, Martin Luther wrote this about the Eighth of the Ten
Commandments,
You shall not give false testimony against your
neighbor.
What does
this mean?
We should fear and love God so that we do not tell lies about our neighbor,
betray him, slander him, or hurt his reputation, but defend him, speak well of
him, and explain everything in the kindest way.
Theologian,
Bruce Marshall, elaborates,
If Luther’s interpretation is correct, the
eighth commandment is an epistemic principle [epistemology is the study of how we
know things]: it has to do with figuring out when we have found the truth about
our neighbor. When it comes to the assessment of our neighbor’s words and
deeds, we should ‘find ways of excusing him, speak well of him and make the
best of everything’ – or as it is often rendered, ‘put the best construction on
everything (Small Catechism I.16).
This is not just a rule of etiquette. We cannot
keep this commandment by first discovering what we suppose to be the hard truth
about another’s words and deeds, and then politely keeping quiet about, or
softening up the rough edges. The commandment not to bear false witness surely
cannot be an injunction to dissemble.
Rather, obedience to this commandment has to
enter into our very effort to discern the truth about our neighbor in the first
place; we cannot suppose that we have got the truth about our neighbor’s words
and deeds until we are sure we have put the best possible construction on them.
In just this sense, presumably, the apostle Paul enjoins us to speak the truth
in love, and warns against ‘evil talk,’ namely that which fails to build up and
give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:15, 29).
If we sense a conflict between what we want to
say about our neighbor and that kindness and tenderness of heart without which
we grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30, 32) we have a sure sign that we have
so far failed to find the truth, and have fastened onto falsehoods of our own
invention.
(quoted by Eugene Rogers in Sexuality and the Christian Body, p. 33)
“We
cannot suppose that we have got the truth about our neighbor’s words and deeds
until we are sure we have put the best possible construction on them.” This
sounds wise and faithful to me. It also sounds hard. At least I find it to be
difficult at times. It requires discipline and practice. But when we engage one
another – especially when we disagree about things about which we care deeply –
it is what it means to bear with one another and speak the truth in love, with
gentleness and reverence toward the other.
Recently,
I came across this from philosopher Daniel Dennett on how to make an argument
or critique another person’s position with kindness:
How to compose a successful critical
commentary:
1. You should attempt to re-express your
target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says,
“Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.
2. You should list any points of agreement
(especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
3. You should mention anything you have learned
from your target.
Only then are you permitted to say so much as a
word of rebuttal or criticism.
4. Only then are you permitted to say so much
as a word of rebuttal or criticism.
Next:
Previous:
Bearing
with One Another When We Disagree
1.
Broken Love
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